Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What are some good Caribbean islands to travel to with friends or family? Why?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What are my 10 favorite rock record album opening tracks?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

This Powerful Airplane Engine Has Been Around For Over 70 Years & Is Still Used Today - SlashGear

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?

I can read

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why is the show The Big Bang Theory so hated?

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do some men love sucking cocks?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why is pure dopamine not a recreational drug? And if it was wouldn’t it be the most addictive and fairly side effect free?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do flat earthers exist?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What does it mean when a guy says he's afraid of falling for someone else after going through heartbreaks?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why does my mother care about my sister more than me?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter